DearWhatever
by BleachedNinja
Summary: Sasuke has failed to destroy Konoha, his whereabouts is unknown, but now the new generation of Ninja’s are reaching around the age of 20, Naruto is the hokage and Gaara is the Kazekage, how will things unravel through the eyes of one insignificant girl?
1. January, 5th

**Dear… whatever -1-**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto**

**January 5th**

Dear Whatever,

Life sucks.

No I'm not some whiny emo teenager or anything, but if you think about all the crap that happens in life,

It really does suck.

Oh, excuse me, where are my manners?

I'm Chihiro Hatori, 20 years old and alone.

Loneliness is a funny thing, right? Pretty underestimated if you ask me. People should be grateful if they're alone, no one there to tie them down or argue with.

Heh, if my sister was here, she would probably slap me.

But she's not.

When I was younger I thought I had a tragic past, but God was I wrong.

I mean The Uchiha Massacre; the Kazekage's past and even the Hokage's. But they're ninja's so I shouldn't care.

Why?

Because I despise ninja's.

I despise their cockiness, their dog like obedience to the Hokage and they way they kill mercilessly, taking the lives of people they don't even know.

Like my sister.

But I'm not going to go into that now.

So here I am, terribly bored, perched upon my shops cashier table, scribbling in this stupid diary.

I own a book shop, if you were curious.

It doesn't get many customers, apart from this one white haired, masked ninja guy who brought the same series of porno books every week.

He doesn't come here anymore though, I heard the author of the books died.

Too bad, I thought initially, but when I realised he was a ninja I waved it off and laughed.

I live in Konoha, by the way.

I know what you're thinking,

'Why the hell do you live in a ninja village when you hate ninja's?'

To which the answer is simple.

I can't be bothered to move.

I was born and raised a Leaf girl, so it might as well stay that way.

Well I guess, this is me signing off, some weirdo ninja has just come into the shop holding a bouquet of roses.

So adios,

Au revoir,

Sayonara,

Or whatever.

_Chihiro x_


	2. January, 6th

**Dear… whatever -2-**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto**

**

* * *

  
**

**January, 6****th**

Dear Whatever,

Yesterday was… interesting?

So there I was, watching with mild interest as this bowl cut, bushy eye browed, green spandex jump suit wearing Ninja slowly approached me with a bouquet of roses firmly clenched in between his hands.

He seemed to take one step towards me every three seconds then he would take one step back, then gulp and then the process would start over again.

After witnessing this cycle about six times, I grew annoyed and said something.

"Are you here to buy a book or entice me with your charming dance routine?"

His eyes widened slightly.

"I…er…**I THINK YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND THE PERFECT EXAMPLE OF YOUTHFULNESS!**"

I think you are perfect example of _get the hell out of my shop you stupid ninja._

"It's funny, I've never heard that one before." I sighed and continued counting the practically nonexistent money in the cash register.

Beautiful he says.

Boy, was he a joker. I mean how the heck am I beautiful?

Grey bob? It made me feel like an old lady.

Silver eyes? Much more interesting than I actually am.

Nose ring? And both ears pierced three times? It was supposed to keep people away, not invite them in.

I wore a purple choker too, it had small little silver rings as I wasn't quite hardcore enough for spikes.

I also wore a black tank top and combat trousers, with small black sandals. I would rather eat my own hands than wear those pathetic ninja shoes.

And my figure? Hah. What figure?

"If you let me take you out to dinner tonight, I…I…I will dedicate my life to giving my heart to you!"

"Been practicing that one, haven't ya? Well use it on some other girl sweetheart."

"Why? Why won't go out with me?"

"Nothin' personal, I just don't like your kind."

The ninja furrowed his eyebrows, "My kind?"

"Yeah, Ninja's." I put the last of the 'money' I was counting back in the register.

The ninja laughed like I had just said the funniest thing in the world.

"You…*cough*…don't like….Ninja's?….AHAHAHAHA!" He started rolling on the floor.

"What's so funny you freak?" I shouted.

"Everyone loves Ninja's!"

"Well I guess I proved that theory wrong, now get out of my shop if you aren't going to buy a book."

"W-wait! I'm sorry! You just caught me by surprise, Oh my names Lee, The handsome devil of Konoha!" He flashed a painfully bright smile and gave thumbs up.

"Oh, my names get- the- hell- outa- here!" I gave a fake grin and flashed my middle finger.

"Waah! No my beautiful princess! Such an action is the downfall of youth!"

I walked over to the non-fiction shelf and took out a dictionary.

"Listen _Ninja, _if you don't leave here right now I'm going to ram this dictionary in your downfall of youth, clear enough for ya?"

The ninja nodded cautiously and ran out of the bookshop, leaving behind a trail of frayed red roses.

So yep, that was pretty much yesterday.

So today I'm writing this as I make my way through the backstreets of Konoha, diary.

I seriously needed some air, so I closed the book shop and decided to wonder.

The whole village is on full alert at the moment, all keeping their eyes out for infamous Uchiha who is apparently lurking around somewhere.

Never actually seen him myself though, he's probably been in my line of vision a couple of times but I never really noticed him. All I knew was that the girls all went goo goo gah gah whenever he walked by them.

Probably an emotionless bastard, like most Ninja's are these days.

I can't even remember the guy's first name, but I know it has the word 'gay' in there somewhere.

Of course when my sister was around she made me attend that chuunin exam.

Y'know the one that got all Orochimaru-fied? Well she _had_ to go because she was dating one of the Ninja's, er…Genma? I think his name was, so I popped along too.

Of course this was before I hated Ninja's.

I actually had a crush on one.

It's weird, he's the Kazekage now, but I liked him from the moment I saw him at the chuunin exams. My sister thought I was crazy, though.

Most people still do.

If you're wondering, I don't have a boyfriend at the moment.

Most likely because all the boys are Ninja's. It's a shame because some of them are serious hotties.

I mean, have you seen the Hyuuga boy?

But it's okay to fancy the enemy, well that's what I think anyway.

I almost forgot to tell you, diary!

Ages ago when my sis and I used to travel across the five Shinobi countries to sell our wares, we came across loads of different characters that came to by our books.

One day when we had set up a small stall near the Mist village, these two guys wearing black cape things with red clouds came to us and examined some of these books called "Bingo books", my first impression was, whoa, when did ninja's play bingo? But my sis explained what they were later.

But anyway, back to the story.

The one who I could barely remember , had most of his face covered up and weird eyes , I couldn't remember him that much because he was pretty quiet and kept murmuring about how our books were much cheaper than the other book shops. But the other one I remember extremely well, he had slicked back grey hair and purple eyes, pretty decent looking to me, but a full out drool fest for my sister.

Oh dear god, I remember how she tried to flirt. Phew, it was pretty cringey because she was trying so hard. But her attempts went unnoticed as all he did was occasionally shout colourful language at the other guy about how long he was taking.

You may be thinking, 'So, does this story have a meaning or what?' But the reason I am telling you this is because it was only about a year ago I learnt that they were from some evil organisation to which most of the members were dead.

It made me feel kind of sick when I found out.

I mean, what if my sister copped off with that guy, got pregnant, realised he is an evil bastard, then find out he died?

Don't you just love my active imagination?

Apparently the one who killed him is one of our very own aswell, the Nara boy if I'm not mistaken.

Another enemy hottie but he is already engaged to some blonde from the sand village.

Who just happened to be the Kazekage's sister.

Weird.

Well, I have somehow ended up in the forest, diary.

Jashin knows why, as the grey haired man memory would of said.

Who Jashin was? Only God knows.

So I'm signing off now leaving you with my interpretation of this saying:

"He who dares, dies."

_Chihiro x_


	3. January 10th

**Dear… whatever -3-**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto**

**January, 10****th**

Oh Lord,

Where am I?

All I can remember is walking through the forest, then everything became blurry.

Aww crap, my head hurts.

"Are you awake?" A male voice just called from behind me. Oh shit, I'm frozen in fear.

"Er…no." I'm not daring enough to look at the person behind me.

"Get up and follow me."

Um… Gotta go

_Chihiro x_


	4. January 11th

**Dear… whatever -4-**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto**

**January 11th**

Dear whatever,

I can't believe what has happened.

I mean, I must be insane.

Well I guess since he's asleep, I better write quickly.

From the beginning Maestro!

So here I am following this strange spiky headed figure deeper into the woods. I have no idea why, but I guessed if I ran away I would be running with some sort of limb missing.

"Who are you?" I whispered, quickly wishing I hadn't said anything.

"That isn't important at the moment." The figure replied.

"Where are we going?"

"Be quiet."

"But, why?"

"You're annoying me."

"But, why?"

"…"

"But, why?"

"…"

"But-"

Suddenly something cold and sharp was against my neck.

"That's why." The object was removed from me and the figure continued walking.

"That doesn't make sense."

Suddenly the figure stopped.

"Oh temper, temper!" I teased.

Okay, so maybe it wasn't such a good idea to wind up random strangers, but it sure as hell was fun!

Wait! Holy crap this guy better not be a ninja… Well Chihiro, Stupid is as stupid does.

"…Madara." The figure called out into the darkness.

M…Madara?

"Sasuke, you have the girl?" An older voice replied.

It was around this point where I collapsed.

So here I am, hunched over you diary, every now and again shooting wary glances at _Sasuke Uchiha's_ sleeping form (see I knew it had 'gay' in it).

Escape.

Yes.

Great idea?

…?

I could make a dash for it but there could be so many floors with that plan:

. I run as fast as a constipated slug

. The Uchiha is a Ninja, so he probably isn't actually asleep

. …Madara

So instead I settled for chewing my nails, out of habit.

Remember what I said about crappy things happening in life, diary?

Well isn't this a fabulous example?

I just heard a rumbling from the bushes (we're outside if I forgot to mention that)

"Chihiro Hatori, come with me." I heard another rumble from the bushes.

Remember what I said about the whole "He who dares, dies?"

Well for now let's go back to the original:

"He who dares, wins."

_Chihiro x_


	5. January 11th 11:45pm

**Dear… whatever -5-**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto**

**January 11****th****- 11:45**

Dear whatever,

I'm not sure whether I'm actually in a fit state to be writing, but if I don't record what has just happened, I'll regret it when there's nothing to read at my funeral.

So, I followed the voice into the bushes, tripping over my feet in the process. I constantly cursed at myself, why was I suddenly so weak? I couldn't let it show- especially not with Ninja's around.

We soon arrived at a small campfire, through the blaze of the fire I could see the figure that the voice belonged too, I don't remember his clothes but I distinctly remember that creepy orange mask with a swirly black design on it, as well as one 'peeping tom' eye hole, personally I thought it was something a closet pervert would wear, but if that's what ninja's these days are into…

Anyway, I'm getting slightly off track here.

"Chihiro, I doubt any introductions are needed."

"No shit."

"I'm sure you want to know why you're here."

"Bingo closet man."

"Well, as I'm guessing you're aware of, Sasuke has recently failed at his first attempt at the destruction of Konoha."

"…First attempt?"

"Now, with the amount of powerful Shinobi increasing in their masses, the theory of one's individual destruction of the village has become absurd."

"And let me guess, you would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for us meddling kids?"

Ignoring me completely, he continued.

"So over the past year, whilst we have been in hiding I have devised a plan that will not fail."

"Being?"

"You're aware of the current alliance between Konoha and Suna?"

"Uh huh."

"We plan to destroy that bond in such a way that war will commence between the Wind and Fire countries, thus creating… _The fourth Great Shinobi war!_"

I clapped sarcastically, "Bravo, bravo."

Closet man Madara turned to face me.

"Four things Mr closet man:

The Hokage and the Kazekage are so close its creepy

Why the hell am I here?

Doesn't the Shinobi wars need like lots of…people? Not just two countries?

And why the hell am I here?"

"You didn't let me finish girl, the Wind country, being the biggest Shinobi country will destroy so much land during war, so other countries will have to intervene in the war also. Friendships can be broken easily, and you? You're our trigger."

"I ain't a gun, Ninja."

"You, being a plain Konoha civilian, with no Shinobi training or interaction will be the pawn needed to break the bond between the Hokage and Kazekage."

"Why should I? I've spent my life with hatred towards Ninja's so why should I get involved with them?"

"If your hatred is so strong then why do you refuse their destruction?" a familiar voice spoke,

I turned around to see Sasuke and all his ambiguously sexuality named glory.

"I refuse it because about a quarter of Konoha aren't even Ninja's, so why should they be caught up in everything?"

"A quarter of my clan were helpless children, but that didn't stop Konoha murdering them."

"Well if that effect's you so much then why are you stooping down to their level?"

"It's a small sacrifice for revenge." Sasuke stated simply.

"Small my back foot! But even if I did this whole trigger thing, what could I do? Run into the Hokage's office and claim that the Kazekage has been sleeping with his non-existent wife?"

"The chuunin exams are approaching and the Hokage and Kazekage will both be attending, so if a group of Konoha Shinobi suddenly attack the Kazekage, the bond will start to evaporate between the nations."

"But how are you going to get Konoha ninja's to attack like that?"

"On the day, you will lead a group of Shinobi towards Sasuke's location to which he will put them under a genjutsu."

"That's the only thing you need me to do?! You could get a fricken' pigeon to do that!"

"No, that is not all. We will also need you to gather as much information about the Chuunin exam as possible and report back to us on a daily basis. Failure is not an option."

"How will I get information?"

"Make bonds with some of the Shinobi, and find ways of meeting the Hokage."

"And why should I? Why should I put my life on the line for you…you NINJA'S?!"

"For your sister." I turned back to Sasuke with a shocked expression.

"How do you-"

"You wouldn't want to let her die in vain, would you?"

I looked to the floor.

"Fine. I'll do it."

Madara spoke, "You will stay here tonight, so you won't try any pointless escape attempts. Your mission starts tomorrow."

"Don't say 'mission' like I'm one of you ninja's, I'm nothing like you. Like you said, I'm just a trigger."

"Enough talk, sleep now and leave in the morning."

So here I stand diary.

My head hurting with thoughts of betrayal, murder, and my sister.

What am I now?

I am no better than them.

A trigger? A pawn?

No.

A traitor.

_Chihiro _


	6. January 12th

**Dear… whatever -6-**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto**

**January 12****th**

Dear Whatever,

I just read last night's diary entry.

Dear god I'm such a drama queen.

Ok so I am a traitor, but who cares? I mean, I hate ninja's right?

Right?

Anyway enough of convincing myself, I suppose I better write what happened today.

_So I woke up and found myself wrapped in a warm blanket, with a cup of hot chocolate next to my side, and Sasuke smiling warmly down at me._

HA! TOTALLY JOKING!

Damn, it actually made me feel sick knowing that the chances of that ever happening are like so practically nonexistent it hurts.

No, what really happened was that I found myself lying on muddy grass, in my somehow ripped combats, and my tank top risen up to my belly button.

Damn you closet man and your closety antics.

I ran a hand through my hair which was less grey and now more diarrhoea brown-ish due to the caked in dirt. I mean did I suddenly think I was an ostrich in the middle of the night and ram my head in the ground? Or did Sasuke do this, as a way of telling me I need to dye my hair?

So I look around and see the camp fire is out and Sas-gay and closet man (They sound like super heroes at a gay pride festival) are gone.

So I try to sort of jump/sit up without putting my hands on the ground, like the ninja's these days do, only to fail and fall hard on my butt.

"So you've chosen now to be a ninja?" Said a slightly familiar voice,

"Huh?" I turned around to see that white-haired porno reading ninja who used to come into my store a couple of years back.

"Get lost nin-" I started, but then I remembered what closet man said about making bonds with shinobi's, so I stopped abruptly.

I sighed, "What do you want?"

He seemed to smile under that weirdo mask of his, I think, "I saw you walk into these woods a while ago, and when you didn't come out, I thought it was my duty to make sure you were ok."

Eww, stalker much?

"Ok then dude, riddle me this. Why did you take so long to check on this troubled maiden?" I questioned pointing at myself.

He shrugs, "I'm a busy guy."

"Well that doesn't sound wrong at all…"

"So why are you out here?" He asked, examining my ruffled appearance.

I shrieked slightly, realising my top was now hovering dangerously close to my bra, my trousers were ripped in an, um, quite inappropriate area whilst I lay on the ground with a stupid expression. I looked like quite the rape-ee.

"Er…satanic rituals?"

He gave me a WTF look.

I quickly fixed my appearance, as much as possible, before standing up and smiling as innocently as I could.

"Do you need some help returning to the village?"

My stomach churned heavily, at even the simple reference to Konoha.

"O-ok." I replied, walking cautiously towards him.

"Follow me," he said walking away.

As we walked, my head hurt like hell.

I didn't want to see Konoha.

I didn't want to see its buildings,

It's ninja's,

It's children,

It's smiling faces.

Because to think I would be the reason for its destruction is just so much to cope with I thought I might spontaneously combust.

I didn't though, obviously.

Jeez, how does Sasuke deal with this?

Drugs?

Sake?

Or was he really that sadistic?

Wait, now that I think about, that little plan of theirs, seemed kind of fluffy if you really analyse it.

Break the bond between Suna and Konoha? I could think of that one.

It might just be me, but I've only talked to Sasuke for about two minutes, but he seemed like the kind of Do-It-Yourself guy.

Crap. Now I'm actually using my brain.

I guess I'll have to wait until next month before I can use it again.

"We're here." The masked stalker stated, breaking me from my unusual state of brain interaction.

"Well ta-ta for now Stalking Shinobi," I called as I ran straight for my house, trying not to look at my surroundings.

I could feel cold tears run down my muddy cheeks.

As soon as I reached my house I shoved the door open and went straight for the bathroom.

I practically chucked the toilet seat off and pretty much threw up the contents of my stomach into the porcelain bowl.

"Urgh" I whined as I climbed into the bath, turned on the shower and just sat there, with my clothes still on.

The water was freezing cold, but I really didn't care.

It felt a sort of punishment, the washing away of all thoughts and sadness.

I smiled into the water, I'm not sure what sort of smile, maybe a nervous one, maybe a sorrowful one.

Definitely not a happy one.

"You're wasting time." A hard voice told me.

I practically screamed and whipped my head around to see Sasuke Uchiha leaning against my bathroom wall.

"Why the hell are you here?" I scolded, turning off the shower as I sat on the edge of the bath.

"Your part in the plan is vital. If you keep trailing off task we will have to dispose of you."

"No pressure then?" I retorted.

"Hn."

"Isn't dangerous for you to be here? I mean won't any ninja's see you?"

Sasuke smirked.

Weirdo, I thought.

"I'll return tonight, if you have not received any info by then…well you'll see."

He did a couple of freakishly quick hand signs and disappeared.

Gay.

Anyway, I need some new clothes.

I not an idiotic anorexic shopaholic, so since these clothes are ruined, I'll be needing some more.

I went to my room, and found a grey hoodie, ¾ length black shorts and some high strapped purple sandals and threw them on.

***

I lingered around Konoha market for a while, not finding anything of particular interest when I suddenly bumped into something pink.

"Hey, watch it dude!" I cursed.

"You watch it!" A freaky pink haired girl shot back.

She looked like pink bitch.

So I guess she's a Ninja.

"You wouldn't happen to be a ninja would ya?" I asked

"Er…yeah I am, why?"

"Let's eat together!" I grinned stupidly and dragged her to a ramen place called "Ichiraku's"

"Who are you?" She asked backing away from me slightly.

"Oh right, I'm Chihiro, I just...er wanna ask ya a couple things about the Chuunin exams."

"S-sure," she replied sitting down on the stall next to me.

"So when is it?" I asked scratching my chin.

"February 1st." She replied, eyeing me cautiously.

February 1st? Remembered.

"Are the hokage and Kazekage gonna sit next to each over?"

"It is tradition." She squinted her eyes.

Kage's are sitting together? Check.

"How many ninja's, like, stand around them?"

"…Two from each country."

So, four? Memorized.

"What are their names?"

She stood up suddenly,

"Why do you need this information?" She demanded, her hands suddenly glowing… blue?

I shook my hands innocently, "Just…er…no reason…um…"

"Sakura-Chan," a voice called from afar, the freaky pinkie turned around to see a like, practically albino boy with randomly contrasting black hair.

"Sai? Just wait a-" She said, turning back to where I _was _standing, but I had already dashed down the street like the slug I am.

I didn't stop to look back, but I did notice the sun had set and it was now night.

"Jeez, this is why I hate ninja's." I stated to no one in particular, and collapsed next to a box of abandoned kittens.

I would have been smiling, if I wasn't terribly allergic to cats.

"Chihiro," I heard Sasuke call from behind me.

"February 1st, the two kage dude's sit next to each over, four guards." I panted, coughing because of the close feline contact.

"I see, well done. Gather more info tomorrow and try to appear less suspicious."

Just as Sasuke turned to leave I stopped him.

"What's your real goal Sasuke?"

Sasuke turned his head towards me and closed his eyes.

And like that,

He was gone.

…

Mysterious son of a bitch.

_Chihiro x_


	7. January 13th

**Dear… whatever -7-**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto**

**January 13th**

Dear Whatever,

Blood

Ee

Hell

Oh Lord, what have I done?

I mean this is a total OMG moment, y'know?

….

But there aren't any LOL's following it this time.

…

Only WTF's.

…Ok, I'm starting to confuse myself here.

So let's begin shall we?

Well, I guess I should really emphasise my deep dark hatred for the feline specimen.

In other words,

Cats are gay.

Not gay as in a bit of boy on boy or lesbo gay, but as in the kind of 'Let's all maul up Chihiro's face' gay.

Because that what they pretty much did this morning.

I mean the mauling, not the whole lesbo thing.

Anyway I'm slurring now.

So I guess running around the streets gagging and swearing, trying to tear of a rabid tabby cat of your face, will get you some attention.

Attention from a certain dog wielding man.

"WOOF!"

Suddenly Mr crazy paws detached his mitts from the side of my face, hissed and stormed off to molest some other adolescence.

"Thanks!" I said, looking up at the owner of the cat repellent dog.

He was pretty decent on the looks side.

Damn these ninja's and their appearances of the attractive kind.

Anyway, he had brown hair, eyes of which I cannot remember the colour and like two red markings on his cheeks.

And his dog…well it was a dog.

What a doggy dude.

"You okay?" He asked me.

"It will save a lot of awkward conversation if I say yes."

"Uh…ok."

….There was an awkward pause.

"It appears I was wrong," I said, suddenly realising it was the morning.

Oh yeah! He was a ninja! Time to milk him for info for momma Sasuke.

"SCORE!" I shouted out loudly.

"Are you sure you're ok?" he repeated.

"Oh, yeah! Duh! Of course! Absolutely!"

What the hell?

"Do you need anything?" doggy dude asked.

"Oh, I think you know what I need," I said seductively.

He looked at me blankly.

"Or not."

"Well, uh…Stay away from cats and y'know, generally things that can cause blindness or bad smells."

"Hmm, remembered." I replied.

"Come on Akamaru!" He said as him and his dog started to walk away.

"Wait!" I yelled.

He turned around.

"Do you, uh, wanna y'know…?" I started but couldn't finish.

He suddenly blushed deeply.

What's up with- Oh!

Oh crap. 'Do you wanna y'know' sounds kinda dirty.

"Oh hell no. Nu uh! I didn't mean, I meant to say…Oh screw this."

I walked away abruptly.

Damn that ninja for being so awkward.

Or me for being awkward I guess.

There would be other ninja's, right?

Of course there are,

It's a fricken' ninja village.

I walked through Konoha's local park,

But it was hardly a wonderland as it was infested with ninja's and smelt of pee.

Nothing to connect the two, of course.

….

So…Oh right, I found a park bench and I'm pretty sure I crashed on it because the sky was pitch black by the time I woke up.

Holy mother shit. Sasuke would turn up any minute and I was zilch on tickets for the info train.

I had to hide.

Where would Sasuke never go?

A strip club?

Ok, there are many things wrong with that idea.

But for now I'll just list two.

I would bet good money on Sasuke's fondness for strip clubs, I mean he sits like a slut!

Considering I was a woman, going into a strip club full of stripping woman would rumble up some controversy on my sexuality

Ok so what's left?

Ah!

The bartender looked at me with disgust.

"Just keep 'em coming!" I demanded, shoving my glass right up to his face and letting my head fall on the bar.

So I chose a pub.

Yes, yes, alcohol washes all the worries away.

I moved my arm out of the way so I could see who was sitting next to me.

Oh bugger, it was an ex-Hokage.

You know the one, big boobs, blonde hair, and no other resounding features.

"Yo," I muttered my head still on the bar.

She nodded in acknowledgement.

Her cheeks were about three shades darker red than mine, and I was pretty wasted.

So I daren't guess how far out the window her common sense is.

Let's say mine had one leg out, but one still in. I've never let the other leg out before.

"Men." BB Hok (big boobed hokage) stated randomly.

"What *hic* about 'em?" I asked.

"I…spent…my whole…life trying to keep….looks from…fading…" She trialled of, her body swaying dangerously on her stool.

"But you *hic* still ain't getting' *hic* none?" I said.

She nodded, "What…about…you? What I wouldn't…give to be…young…" BB Hok's voice was dying.

I laughed, loudly. "The receptions no better *hic* down at this end."

She smiled slightly before passing out.

I suddenly felt an urge to puke.

I ran out the pub's back door and held my head cautiously over the garbage bin.

"Chihiro," a stoic voice called from behind me.

I turned around instantly

So here it comes diary, the mistake.

The tragedy,

The worst possible thing ever.

...

I started kissing Sasuke Uchiha.

...

There was no response from his end, obviously.

But when I pulled away,

No, we didn't look at each over longingly.

No, he didn't pull me into an embrace.

No, there were no declarations of undying love.

What did happen?

…

I puked all over him.

Then I passed out.

...

So here I am, lying in my bed, feeling tipsy and disgusted.

After I passed out, I woke up in the same place, but with a certain man nowhere in sight.

But I managed to stumble my way back home.

I can't believe it diary!

What the fuck enchanted me to do that?

I hate Sas-gay!

Hate, Hate, Hate-ity Hate!

I feel so dirty.

Well I better be going now.

Before the drama queen arrives.

Remind me never to drink again. Ok?

But I suppose one good thing came out of all of this.

I finally managed to get the other leg out the window.

_Chihiro x_


End file.
